Woman's aspirations,feelings,habits,thoughts,ambitions,dreams....are they to be forgotten post marriage????..plse read below...the FACT.
.."Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as,
Much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who,
Love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that, includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some;
And trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many people understand this... Well... Give it a thought now!! !!!!!!!!!! "
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as,
Much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who,
Love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that, includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some;
And trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many people understand this... Well... Give it a thought now!! !!!!!!!!!! "
Things have moved into a better scenario in the current world, however the country has a long long way to go in realising that 'marriage' requires not only the support of each other and respect for each other in every walk of life but also the understanding that with a proper understanding, a matured, sensible and reasonable outlook, neither of them need not make any major sacrifices.
Probably then, 'marriage' would be viewed as a positive and happy sign and people will start embracing it more willingly.
9 comments:
In this current world i see both men and women the same ... let it be pre or post marriage...both in competition... both who need to make ones carrier.. both who always get going....and i feel that things are moved so much today that men and women dont follow each other ..but walk together..So on this coloum.. “Women does any one understand”..my comment is yes people have learnt of one another and are still learning..on you coloum ive seen your thoughts on sacrifices of women,, but on the other hand there are so of a MAN too...of him spending time with her..giving security,, etc... So umpteeen things that now man and women are no longer different.. they make things together..So the understanding should be to know each other..
a couple or more questions?
1. why has the girl never entered the kitchen in her life? very curious to
know
2. why does she have to make tea first thing in the morning, i mean why not coffee?
3. why is she clumsy and sloppy at times?
hmmmm...these were the kind of debates we had in college..right?
I hope this is just the beginning...all the best dear:-)
Hi Hema D:)
Very true...but there are more matured, understanding and rational men around...so plz. donot genralize...there are positives and negatives to anything. There has to be a thorough understanding and respect, love for each other that makes each moment memorable...so be hopeful and dont loose faith:)
i think the scenario has changed! these days i've seen women rate those men higher who have all the 'qualities' a woman is expected to have as written in your blog....so shall we say we are all finally at par? :D
For all the guys who have been commenting on the change in scenario, my only say is , most of the urban educated professional man and woman have understood the importance and necessity of walking together , however the population at large , which is composed of people from lower sections are yet to embrace this. Things are changing...amongst the urban population which we are also witnessing but it still to strike balance.
Very nice post Hema. Clearly this is the age when Bharathiar's pudhumai penn has come to the fore, and rightly so, in areas of intellectual and segregated sporting events, that is largely among the urban elite, primarily the middle class stratas and above.
However, eventhough one may argue that the men from these sections are understanding and respecting of these feelings, many still do not. I feel that it is this current new generation of parents that can take the belief systems into practice, to the next level. We, have to internalize it and only then will it be internalized in the children of the newer world.
On the other hand, as regards the huge portion of India, the rural masses, there is rampant discrimination against women at all levels of the society, where only thick skinned women with a higher emotional intelligence can alone survive and be heard. That though will take time...and for those women to even be as inspired and thoughtful as you, they need the awareness to even make them think this way. Resigning to fate and a matter of 'commonly accepted practice' is what it is at now. It will take decades of patient awareness generation in these places, for open and egalitarian views such as yours to percolate.
Well said...and hopefully time and inspiration will take the message around. Hope.
Oh another thing that cropped up when i read it again..... how many times have you used the word 'almost' when describing the 'girl' at the beginning of your post? why? Its the women of the household who contribute most towards the miseries of each other. think about it....
True hema...completely agree with u. The way u have expressed ur feelings is absolutely great.
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