Something for us to follow....

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Love and Marriage! The Fact!

*A student asks a teacher,

"What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheatfield and choose the biggest wheat and come back.But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn backto pick.

"The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even biggerone waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start torealise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, heknow he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teachertold him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, butwhen later you realise, you have already miss the person...."**

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the cornfield and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: youcan go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not torepeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, hehas picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to theteacher.The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look forone that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the bestone you get.... this is marriage."*

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.

You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling .(The Truth)

A Prayer.

A Prayer.
''Dear Lord, I pray for :
''Wisdom to understand my man;
''Love to forgive him;
''And Patience for his moods;
because Lord, if I pray for Strength,''
''I'll beat him to death''

A Woman's Secret.........

There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.They had shared everything.They had talked about everything.They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had ashoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husbandnever to open or ask her about.For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one daythe little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would notrecover....In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down theshoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of moneytotalling $25,000.He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me thesecret of a happy marriage was to never argue.She told me that if I ever got angry with you,I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.Only two precious dolls were in the box.She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.He almost burst with happiness......"Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of thismoney? Where did it come from?""Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling all the dolls..."

An interesting reflection

An interesting article:

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.(Good idea huh!!!..all of us need the physical exercise!)

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, and fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity and been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, and pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time.

Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know \nbest how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon (wonder who he is!! ) said,

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalize world.

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.(The one I found most inspiring and life's truth)
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Truth of Life: I guess this is an absolute truth which all of us need to embrace.We dont know why certain things happen in our life, but we know its for a reason and looking back we will be able to connect them! Neither do things happen the way we want them to happen nor we get everything (or most of) of what we desire.That because I believe destiny,fate or karma has a major role in our lives!Rather than complaining or moaning or brooding or getting depressed over failures,things not happening our way, move on in life and believe everything happens for a reason and for ur best good. We all should learn to accept things happening in our lives sooner and use the current time to live happily rather than crying over lost time and happiness later in life!

Women of today

Ghar Grihalakshmi vs Asad Panchi

There has been an drastic change in the women of yesterday to the women of today!

From being a bane to the world, she has evolved to become a boon,
From being limited to household work, she has evolved to manage both home and work,
From being a housewife, she has evolved to a homemaker,
From being a servant, she has evolved to become a doctor,lawyer,pilot,manager,
From being a lady governing home , to a lady governing the country,
From being a low level employee, she has evolved to be a CEO!
From a dependant woman, she has evolved to become an independant woman,
From her pocket money at home, to a financial controller,
From a lady of fear, she has grown to a lady of power,
From a woman with fear, to a woman with courage,
From a timid woman to an agressive woman,
From the age of tolerating pain, to an age of courageous fight back,
From the lady in the kitchen, to the lady in the boardroom!
Its Women Women everywhere! they are the Women of today!

The evolvement and empowerment of women is quite evident in various walks of life , whether professional or personal. Most of the woman today hold a high selfesteem, are confident, aggressive, courageous, practical and with a powerful attitude! An attitude to fight back whatever! Its an absolutely laudable fact! They have evolved to believe men and women are equal, and can do most of the things men have been doing!

This change in the attitude of women has brought about a change in the attitude of men as well, though its not among the majority. Men are still evolving !:)...Evolving into accepting the new woman, adjusting to her life and requirements, accepting she is as much a human being as he is!The male chauvinist society is slowly seeing its death, to the evolving women chauvinism! (as per the belief of my 'boy' friends who feel they r being tortured by today's women!!!hahaha...)

The major, if not atleast 50% of the male population is yet to accept this change, or to accept this belief that..Women are also human beings as much as men are!

Though this evolvement is more evident in the urban population, it is yet to sweep the rural population completely! I hope a day comes out very soon, where every woman is free, independant,courageous,respected and accepted!It can happen faster if men realise it sooner, and encourage and help the women in the path of evolvement!

4) My other office in Birmingham, UK

My other office!

Well! Quite a vast and different atmosphere and a new experience! The big building, where its entrance is just opposite KPMG entrance, its 6 floors, meeting rooms, cafeteria (atrium!), vending machines, pigeon holes (small dedicated shelfs for your mail), a post room, 6 lifts, sitting space booking machines (one book their seat in advance, even on the pwc site!),online time and expense booking,about 600 people, 6-8 assurance groups, seating space together for each group, common sitting area, yellow area for small meetings, discussions, relaxing, career coaches, social gatherings, group parties, christmas parties, hubs (small area for printer, xerox machines, fax, stationaries ), internal mails (peer to peer mails within same office or peer offices) etc.

Technology: Virtual Private Network (VPN) . One can access office network from anywhere with the help of your GUID and PIN.One has a particular application in the laptop! One can access anything as in LAN. Wireless internet cards for a few! Online real time replications!

Office culture: Puntuality (reach before time, and all do), 8-10 hrs of work a day, strict 5 day working, only work during office time (No internet and chatting over phone), regular social gatherings, monitoring of one's objective setting and performances with their career coaches, understand what one wants to do and why!!building a career path, healthy team discussions at all levels and with all levels, friendly interactions with all levels, making coffee,tea etc for all in team (as per turns :)), responsible working even by the lowest level staff (building career seriously :)) etc.

The above characteristics are maybe evident in most of the corporate offices. But since I am coming from a smaller setup at Home I was obviously amazed! So far as culture is concerned, partly not evident anywhere in Corporate India , am sure! We need to pick certain good aspects like planning, management skills, time sense, less of take it easy attitude, people friendly attitudes and am sure India will have the world class , the BEST corporate culture!!

However the greater aspects of Indian people and Indian Professionals including certain drawbacks in my other post 'Indians'...Dont miss it!!!

5) Work Life Balance Part 1

Haven't we heard this often? Its the most widely taked about topic amongst friends, peers , in organisations, across tables , where not! Mostly in Indian organistions..maybe...But why is it the mostly widely talked of topic? Because it is non-existent for most of us!

Infact its a burning issue in the current corporate life, atleast in India ! Young professionals in the name of career growth, ambitions, appreciation, burn midnight oils at office. Wonder if they ever did it in their academic pursuits! Is it intial enthusiasm to prove themselves, or is it bad or inadequate planning, or is it unachievable deadlines, or is it lack of adequate resources, or is it assuming too many responsibilities, or is it lack of focus on what, why and how, or is it disinterest towards personal life, or is it lack of sense of direction, or is it inefficient and unproductive work patterns during the regualr office hours (mobiles and internet , the culprits) and above all is it because of working with people affected with one of the above diseases? Am sure some of us fall in the last category and most of the others in one of the remaining.

I believe its all in our attitude. If we strictly want to work only 8-10 hours a day and on 5 days a week, can't we? If we can plan our work within the said time and its achievable, can't we? Most of us don't even do this , just go ahead and complain, 'No work life balance'!!Did we try? I believe we can! With a positive attitude, a little motivation and enthusiasm, collective effort , its achievable!

Let me first talk on the attitudes, before moving further on..

Current attitudes and scenarios:

1) No one is motivated or interested in pursuing work life balance, why? No use! Bosses don't believe in it! or 'Its ok, I am used to it!, or 'ghar jake kya karunga/karungi',or 'who will fight for it?, no one listens'! or 'Family , close friends, they will understand, take it for granted attitude'. These are just a few popular reasons!

2) Some want to achieve it! But lack of support and motivation, because of people above them suffering from characteristics said in point 1. Result! a frustrated victim!

How can one work towards this work-life balance?.....Refer Part 2 :))))

3) My trip to Uk 2-Contd

Contd from 'my trip to Uk 1'....

f. Quite strict and proper security systems.U cant get away!!!

g. Direction plates on all junctions, roads. One doesnt need to ask anyone for location.Can just follow them.

i. One has direction maps on the web be it a place,shop,office anything!!

j. Shops close at 6pm..some of them at 7/8pm..sundays mostly close or maybe half a day...however super markets r open till late night!!!This is not so good isnt it??Cant shop on weekdays..can't go anywhere ..since after office time..shops r close! Logic...They have a family too!!!

k. How can i forget!!! TIME!!People invariably 99.9% maintain punctuality not only for office!Anywhere! (0.1% benefit of doubt:))In fact they would reach atleast 5 min in advance! Exceptions maybe where they r caught up on unexpected traffic junctions!! which of course if real time communicated to the concerned people! Now how many of us do this!!! Its a matter of frustration for people in India like ME, in respect of people who dont maintain time. They neither think of following it nor do they make any continued effort! Arey koun karega re!..Sab chaltha Hai!!!is what is the attitude!! When such attitude changes only, many things will change maybe!

The list above is not exhaustive but definitely gives one a peek into the life here and what to expect at a minimum!!! There are much more aspects specifically office cultures,disciplines etc worth mentioning..maybe later!!! After seeing all this one thing for sure is what i believe! Its all in one's ATTITUDE of course supported by the governments LAW AND ORDER!If we have a straight ,positive, development oriented, calm, people friendly attitude we as well can achieve all that!!!

So, maybe some of the above mentioned aspects are reasons why Indians, NRI's epecially consider a foreign country better to live in..more time for oneself..time and oppurtunities to pursue other activities etc. However the two aspect that will probably pull people back to India, One..their home town is family,friends!!!which would make them put the above said benefits behind and pack their bags home!!!Extremely family oriented people only would do this!!!!
Secondly,,...the flexible kind of lifestle in India...no rules and regulations...shops open till 10pm...life after 6pm...democratic lifestyle...home language...cosmopolitan cities...hang out with friends ..pani puri in chat bandi..festivals...weddings....all that music,dance,,band baja....mmm..so many reasons to be in India....
So which is a better bet guys!!!I prefer India...though organised and systemised aspects are a welcome!!!the above aspect in India...cant be compared...all the colour,mix of people,family,friends,shops etc r a better bargain!!Maybe sometimes...I m confused...want all of them..but cant!!!!Human mind is never satisfied!!!

People in other parts of the globe can share your observations of your city/country's lifestyle!!!It would be interesting to know the diverity!!

2) My trip to UK 1

United Kingdom!!!..London....Europe....One of the most preferred destinations after THE U S of A..:)))

All that I had heard and seen (Of course from our great bollywood movies , always a window for exotic foreign locations..) of the above countries were..neatness,systemised and organised life style!!! and of course certain other aspects...which does not require specific mention ;)

I used to wonder why people who went abroad, never really thought of returning back to India and most often considered settling there. The only aspect I could think of then was 'MONEY', but today I realise maybe thats the main reason but there are other aspects for consideration too! I used to detest (mm..do I now?) those categories of people who cribbed about every aspect in India and was finicky about various aspect of Indian life.

Here are a few feel good attractions:

1. Work - Life balance: The HOT topic across all organisations, trainings,peer conversations , the MOST sought after aspect for non-workholics, one among the scarce necessities in India, of course created by Mankind!(more on work life balance in a separate post!!!look for it guys!)..abundant in UK and maybe in all parts of Europe!..mmm...heard a few exceptions where there are Indian bosses..Workaholism is in the Indian blood for sure! People invariably work 5 days in a week 8-10 hrs/day maximum. Exception: Auditors who work from home anyways!!By product of taking a profession in Finance/Audit!

Atleast no one is made to work later than the above said time..and weekends are yours for sure!!!!Lovely isn't it!!! Personal life is priority here!!! As a result people enjoy work and life!!!!(efficiency,productivity,quality part of separate post under work-life balance!) Chilled out people!!!

2. Technology: Don't know where to start.Everything everywhere is automatic,systemised.Thats why maybe this is a developed country. They have a good inbuilt system of controls, user friendly systems, least thinking required.Just follow the system..saves time and energy!!

a. Properly followed lane system on roads.U have speed cameras,speed instructions,traffic congestion information on motorways.If people follow that..u can smoothly reach ur destinations...No pollution, no honking!!!Mmmmm... a blessing isnt it?Neat traffic...no helter skelter driving, at all junctions and traffic, people will invariably stop to let traffic from other directions to flow!! Its not 'Me First' rule!!:)

People follow all this strictly since u have CCTV's, cameras at all places to monitor the traffic. If anyone breaks it ,, even speeding..he will have a fine letter, 2 points license cut at his postbox!Amazing is the point that, it indicates the time,the place, the junction, the rule broken,the car number every aspect!

b. Not as neat as expected.People do litter but not so much!

c. No pulling and pushing at crowded places, while boarding or alighting from trains!!queues..if not..people do give ways!!

d. Multiple counters (atleast 10) in all malls, markets.

e. Drinks,sandwitches,choclates vending machines!!!at all strategic locations..bus stations, train

stations,airports,offices etc